Family Outing @ East Coast Park

Yeah! We went cycling this morning!

I love mornings like this.

Hand in hand with the two greatest loves of my life.

My men.

*Burp*

Just wolfed down 5 McNuggets with green tea.

After going on the cabbage soup diet for the past few days.
(I've got heaps of cabbage in the fridge)

Lost 2kg but am so going to gain them back now..

Aiyah back to the diet tomorrow loh.

In need of appreciation

Sean is taking his morning nap now as I put my legs up and surf the net on the lappie(s).

The floor is mopped, the play area is somewhat packed and tidied, and it looks all set for his afternoon playtime.

Now that I'm not pumping, I have all the time in the world to do housework.

Yes, I've been lucky enough to siam all that since Sean's birth.

We do have a part-time helper who comes every Saturday to clean up the place.

But while I mop the floor everyday now, it disgusts me to see that the water the mop dispenses is still a tinge of yucky brown. This goes to show how dirty the place can be.

And now Sean is so keen to be on the floor walking around on his push-cart, it has become quite an obsession for me to make sure that the floor is cleaned and mopped everyday.

Sometimes I wonder.

Am I ever being appreciated for all that I've done?

Humans take things for granted too easily.

I could have taken Steve for granted, not knowing that his work is tough too.

But too often recently, I lament.

Never mind that Steve is bringing us along to Beijing for his conference end September.

Never mind that Steve brings home dinner everyday.

Never mind that Steve sometimes helps to cook Sean's porridge in the morning.

I lament that I'm not being appreciated.

I lament that I'm being taken for granted.

I lament that my efforts at breastfeeding Sean for the past year plus has been regarded as mediocre.

I lament that why must I always be the one feeding Sean and sitting beside Sean, having my eardrums suffering while gobbling down my food?

I lament that everytime I want to buy something for myself, I have to put my hands out asking for money.

And I DO make sure that things that I buy are never too expensive. It's almost always less than $20 each time.

Yet not everytime my request was granted.

"You've already bought one last week."
"This looks like the one you already have."
"You have too many clothes/shoes."

All these not knowing that my chest can no longer fit into those tight tops meant for 70As.

All these not knowing that I just want to make myself feel better by dressing up a bit more other than in just stupid t-shirts.

All these not knowing that I so want to feel pretty and nice again, and not just a big fat cow.

Ok, so after all these ramblings, I go back to sanity.

How much clothes do I really need? It's not as if I need to go out and work. It's not as if I AM going out everyday.

It's not as if I am slim again.

It's not as if I have so many bodies or pairs of legs to put on all those clothes and shoes.

So bottomline is, I should just shut up and go back to taking good care of Sean, taking good care of the housechores, taking good care of the husband.

The biggest regret then I think, would be I WISH I can take better care of myself.

This all boils down to the fact that I'm a sallow-skinned Stay-At-Home-Mum with zero financial independence.

Or I could just blame it on the mad-swinging hormones.

Someone, give me a break please....

Saturday Morning at Rider's Cafe

We were out and early to Rider's Cafe for breakfast this morning after hearing much raves about it.

It was packed to the brim!

We had to wait a while for a table cos we didn't make any reservations (which is a good idea to if anyone is planning for a visit soon), and we soon got it, thanks to the quick arrangement by the table host. She was really patient and kind with us. I like the place alot and will definitely be back soon.

I really enjoyed a morning like this. Come to think of it, this morning was one of those rare occasion where we were out of the house by 930am (I think the only other one was CNY).

We should do this more often, now that I don't have to do any pumping.

PEEKTURES!
(I just realised we didn't take any shots of the horses! What a shame!)

Walking Pot of Cabbage Soup

And that is what I am now.

Carrying 2 huge hot watermelons, which are wrapped in cabbage leaves, 24 hours a day, literally cooking the cabbage with my breasts.

I won't be surprised if someone cathces a whiff of cabbage soup if I pass by.

That's the price to pay for me quitting cold turkey on milking myself.

And this is simply how I am feeling now.



Extremely irritable and LOUSY.

The Moo-Ma Milk Factory is taking a break

Today marks the last day I'm pumping milk.

I am filled with very mixed emotions.

Would you believe it that I actually cried when I expressed milk for the last time just now?

441 days.
1 year, 2 months, 15 days.

For each of these tired and tedious days, I've been making milk for my dearest boy.

It's as if all along, my job is to do just that and nothing else.

I feel proud of the fact that Sean has been fed exclusively on breastmilk for 14 months.

I'm proud that I'm disciplined to have stuck it out for so long, despite the hurdles and pain.

I'm proud that I've made sacrifices along the way to give my boy the best nutrition there is.

I'm grateful for being blessed with the ability of making it possible this far.

And to finally bid a hiatus to it now, is like having to say goodbye to a good friend.

For at least, a period of time.

And now it's as if I've lost a sense of purpose.

Suddenly, I felt useless as a mother.

The irony.

To the wonderful factory,

Thank you so much for being my good partner for the past 14 plus months.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Let's meet again soon.

The only constant is change

My Sean Sean boy is doing well.

We have gradually introduced formula milk to him, and after going through Sean's stringent taste tests, we have settled down with Gain IQ.

Friso, Enfagrow, Nan, Nan HA, Mamil Gold - all these didn't make the cut.

The beginning was tough. Even though we have mixed in only a quarter of his 175ml with formula and the rest with his favourite breastmilk, Sean was really sensitive to the new taste and didn't take well to it. He retched, puked and showed us faces of disgust.

Many times I feel like giving up and just press on with giving him EBM.

But my breasts are really tired and sore after countless sessions of pumps.

Just last week, I was having my regular checkup and my gynae asked if my hormonal cycle is back to normal.

It's not.

Then she remarked, "Wow, that means you have been doing pretty intensive breastfeeding/expressing."

Well, I was. And if I am to salvage any normality in my boobs, functionality AND appearance, then perhaps it's time to let them take their deserved rest.

This morning, we gave Sean a full feed of Gain IQ.

3 scoops with 180ml.

No more mixture with breastmilk.

And although he took a longer time to drink, and at times, stopped and looked at the bottle with a suspicious look, he managed to finish 175ml of it.

So maybe, I can finally keep those pumps away for good now.

And start planning what do I do with Sean with the sudden free time I have on hand.

Look for a job? Enrol him for enrichment classes?

Decisions, decisions.

Haiz. With change comes adaptation. Now I have to re-plan Sean's schedule, which have been the same for the past 14 months!

That also explains why I have the time to finally download Photoscape to do up these pretty photos!

I am learning...and maybe I can finally get that Facebook account done.

See how, see how.

FUC*SHI*

I just banged my little toe into the bottom of the bed,

and it feels like it's going to explode anytime now

(the little toe i mean).

And the strange thing is.

I kept apologising to my little toe,

profusely saying "Sorry" to it over and over again.

I hope the throbbing goes away soon.

FUC*.

Sean is 14 months old!

My boy is 14 months old today!

Not much time to update more now cos got to go to pump milk.

Shall post photos soon I promise!




PS: Schumacher's not coming back after all. :(

Steve was away, Sean was sick, My tooth cracked, and Schumi Returns!

It has been a heck of a fortnight.

Steve was away in Indonesia for work for a week, and boy was it tough to take on Sean all by myself.

Luckily my parents were around to keep us company, or we would have gone bonkers.

Sean took his MMR and Chicken pox vaccination (yes both at the same time) just 3 days before Steve went away.

Bad mistake.

The side effect of fever came on just when Steve left and Sean's temperature reached 38.2 degrees.

Went on a milk strike somemore. Can you imagine he drank only about average 200ml per day for consecutive 3 days?

No wonder he lost weight.

Thank goodness, he's all fine now.

To add madness to the week, my tooth cracked.

MOLAR.

The irony is, Sean is sprouting 2 more pearlies, his upper incisors.

Dentist said my molar cannot be salvaged. Got to extract and put implant. Alternatives would be to fix a bridge, or leave the gapping hole.

Sigh.

I guess I can soon officially announce that:

I'M GONNA HAVE IMPLANTS!!!!

Shit.

You know what? I don't smoke. I hate carbonated drinks. I brush my teeth everyday. During my confinement month, I told myself, although I couldn't bathe, the least I could do is keep my teeth clean.

Thus no matter how tired I was, or how much my wound hurts then, I still make the effort to brush my teeth.

And oh, I had braces before too.

To think that I have to lose my tooth like this.

It's like losing a part of me.

I was so sad I teared on the dentist's chair when he told me the tooth is a gone case.

And the costs involved plunges me deeper into depression my heart hurts. It's akin to giving up a trip back to Edinburgh for all 3 of us.

Anyway, we're going to seek a second opinion (actually, a third, if I consider the amatuerish dentist I visited in Jurong Point. He's bad).

Maybe I can go implant-free. Hopefully.

And and.....................






Michael Schumacher will be back in action!!!

Poor Massa, please recover soon.

But in the meantime, the return of Schumi back in the scarlett red will definitely pull in much needed allure for the flagging attraction of F1.

So so, are we going to the Night Race?

Are we? Are we? Are we? Are we? Are we? Are we? Are we? Are we?

Sean is 13 months old!

A year and a month on!

What updates on his progress?

Well, he's cruising around quite alot now. But still not standing without support.

He's a curious little boy, wanting to grab everything in sight, putting everything through his taste test.

He's sprouting another incisor. I think there's more coming up as he keeps putting his finger deep into his mouth. Perhaps some molars are appearing?

He's drooling like nobody's business, and with no pacifiers, poor boy's gums must be feeling really sore.

And????

Drumrolls.......





He hates formula milk!

We tried Enfagrow, Sean hated it so much that upon putting the teat in, he regurgitated. No amount of persuading can make him take it at all.

We tasted it. IT IS WEIRD and taste very ARTIFICIAL.

I suppose that's formula milk for you.

Then upon searching up the net for recommendations, Steve bought a tin of Mamil Gold on the same afternoon for Sean to try.

It tastes better but smells very sweet. I think at least, it seems drinkable (unlike Enfagrow which I think is really bad).

But Sean hates it too. His reaction wasn't as bad though, but still, he couldn't even drink a bit.

We then gave him breastmilk, and he took it without any complaints.

Haiz.

I had thought I can start looking forward to more freedom. But guess I have to be a cow for some more time before we can eventually get Sean to accept formula milk.

Here's some photos of my handsome boy.

You know, everytime I put on his socks, I will exclaim "Wah! So handsome ah!". So now, everytime he sees his socks and if they're within his reach, he would hand them to me wanting me to put them on for him, or he would place them on his feet, thinking that perhaps miraculously, his feet would pass through the socks and hence "wear" them.

Kids are so cute right.

Stop bothering me you bad paparazzi!!