景軒長大了。。。

Sean has been in a fussy mood this week...

Somehow, he just seems rather different from the previous weeks.

Maybe it's just him growing up.

He has refused to take my breast, preferring the bottle. But yet, when I feed him lying down, he will take it, but only with coaxing.

This depressed me alot and I felt really rejected. Searched up the net on this and found that it could be that the baby is starting to be curious about his surroundings, so may not want to face inwards to feed. And it's said to be just a passing phase, lasting from a few days to a week or so.

I certainly hope it will be over soon. Nothing beats having Sean looking at me with his big bright innocent eyes while breastfeeding him.

He also likes to play with his saliva now, blowing them out in bubbles. And he will smile everytime I wipe them off. He makes cute sounds every now and then, and his favourite expression is "cool".

He's showing his personality too. He's got a BIG character. And I think Steve and I will have a pretty hard time training his temper.

Still, Sean's a big darling and I love him so much.

Kids, they grow up too fast...

Sean sleeping at a week's old

Now...

Sean looking handsome at a week's old

Looking even more so fine now

Bursting

A few nights ago, Sean fell asleep like this, holding my finger...





Have you ever felt the sudden urge to just burst into tears?

I have been having the tendency to do so almost every morning, recently.

Don't get me wrong...I am not undergoing post-natal depression, though the blues I have certainly experienced just the week after delivery. But that's over now.

Perhaps it's just that bit of the stress and fatigue that contributes to it. Or maybe really, I just need to let it all out...

The euphoria, the wonderness, the high of it all.

Maybe it's really the feeling of having so much love for my little boy, that it's so overwhelming and taking over me mind, body and soul.

I've never felt so much love for someone in my life.

Well, except for Sean's Daddy, of course.

I'm glad I've found the right man, and I'm glad I have such a marvellous son.

I'm blessed, and I'm really thankful.

There are mistakes that I've made, wrong turns that I've taken...those were really dark days. So rough that I became numb to the slightest pain, oblivious to the slightest concern.

And I'm grateful for that patch of life too.

Cos it just made me treasure the littliest happiness, be it just the blue blue skies at the break of dawn, or just a fart that Sean makes (what a change of tone!).

That's happiness.

I am truly happy.

Being a stay-at-home-mum is the most satisfying job in the world!!

U agree?

I have been one for the past 3 weeks or so and I must say, it was a helluva experience.

I must be paying back for all those lazy hours spent sleeping during my pregnancy...

Now, my every hour and minute is spent with my darling Sean. Not that I'm complaining, I love him to bits! In fact, I am most willing and can indeed spend the whole of my waking hours to be just beside him, stroking his cute little head and saying to him "How much Mummy loves him.". But it's not easy. Any time I can find in between meeting Sean's needs I try to catch some sleep. But by the time i can do that, Sean's awake again.

Indeed, being a mother is the toughest job on earth. Like now, I have to type with one hand becos I'm carrying him with the other. And this entry has been saved as draft for the umpteem before it can be properly uploaded. Sean wants to be carried and cuddled most of the time. He's been spoilt rotten. But i dun mind :)

And he's growing well! I'm really thankful for that. He can smile and giggle alot now, and he loves his bathtime and playtime! My heart melts whenever he smiles at me. Really, nothing else is more important than seeing him healthy and happy. Nothing else.

And as usual, I must end this off with Sean's ultimate "Disturb my sleep and I'll whack u" look...