景軒長大了。。。

Sean has been in a fussy mood this week...

Somehow, he just seems rather different from the previous weeks.

Maybe it's just him growing up.

He has refused to take my breast, preferring the bottle. But yet, when I feed him lying down, he will take it, but only with coaxing.

This depressed me alot and I felt really rejected. Searched up the net on this and found that it could be that the baby is starting to be curious about his surroundings, so may not want to face inwards to feed. And it's said to be just a passing phase, lasting from a few days to a week or so.

I certainly hope it will be over soon. Nothing beats having Sean looking at me with his big bright innocent eyes while breastfeeding him.

He also likes to play with his saliva now, blowing them out in bubbles. And he will smile everytime I wipe them off. He makes cute sounds every now and then, and his favourite expression is "cool".

He's showing his personality too. He's got a BIG character. And I think Steve and I will have a pretty hard time training his temper.

Still, Sean's a big darling and I love him so much.

Kids, they grow up too fast...

Sean sleeping at a week's old

Now...

Sean looking handsome at a week's old

Looking even more so fine now

Bursting

A few nights ago, Sean fell asleep like this, holding my finger...





Have you ever felt the sudden urge to just burst into tears?

I have been having the tendency to do so almost every morning, recently.

Don't get me wrong...I am not undergoing post-natal depression, though the blues I have certainly experienced just the week after delivery. But that's over now.

Perhaps it's just that bit of the stress and fatigue that contributes to it. Or maybe really, I just need to let it all out...

The euphoria, the wonderness, the high of it all.

Maybe it's really the feeling of having so much love for my little boy, that it's so overwhelming and taking over me mind, body and soul.

I've never felt so much love for someone in my life.

Well, except for Sean's Daddy, of course.

I'm glad I've found the right man, and I'm glad I have such a marvellous son.

I'm blessed, and I'm really thankful.

There are mistakes that I've made, wrong turns that I've taken...those were really dark days. So rough that I became numb to the slightest pain, oblivious to the slightest concern.

And I'm grateful for that patch of life too.

Cos it just made me treasure the littliest happiness, be it just the blue blue skies at the break of dawn, or just a fart that Sean makes (what a change of tone!).

That's happiness.

I am truly happy.

Being a stay-at-home-mum is the most satisfying job in the world!!

U agree?

I have been one for the past 3 weeks or so and I must say, it was a helluva experience.

I must be paying back for all those lazy hours spent sleeping during my pregnancy...

Now, my every hour and minute is spent with my darling Sean. Not that I'm complaining, I love him to bits! In fact, I am most willing and can indeed spend the whole of my waking hours to be just beside him, stroking his cute little head and saying to him "How much Mummy loves him.". But it's not easy. Any time I can find in between meeting Sean's needs I try to catch some sleep. But by the time i can do that, Sean's awake again.

Indeed, being a mother is the toughest job on earth. Like now, I have to type with one hand becos I'm carrying him with the other. And this entry has been saved as draft for the umpteem before it can be properly uploaded. Sean wants to be carried and cuddled most of the time. He's been spoilt rotten. But i dun mind :)

And he's growing well! I'm really thankful for that. He can smile and giggle alot now, and he loves his bathtime and playtime! My heart melts whenever he smiles at me. Really, nothing else is more important than seeing him healthy and happy. Nothing else.

And as usual, I must end this off with Sean's ultimate "Disturb my sleep and I'll whack u" look...

Baby Sean is here!

It has been a ride!

Finally, I can proudly announce that Baby Sean has arrived.

And how time flies! He's turning one month old tomorrow! Well done Sean!

I should have updated here earlier, but settling down into the role of a mother is not easy. Where should I begin? Now, everyday of my life is taken up with expressing milk and taking care of Sean. 24 hours doesn't seem enough and having a pair of hands seems inadequate. Sometimes I wish I can be an octopus at will so that I can latch Sean on with one hand, express milk with the other and do other things at the same time.

Anyway, maybe I can talk about the actual day. Sean's EDD was 8 June, and I was really hoping for him to arrive on my birthday, or on his EDD. But when these days came and passed and Sean still didn't seem anxious to come out and say hi, I was getting pretty frustrated already. So we decided to go for an induction on the third day past his EDD.

I don't know, it could be the "it's in the mind" thingie. Or maybe Sean just want to play a game of hide and seek. Cos in the early morning of the day of the induction, I started to have strong contractions and obvious signs of labour. Cheeky cheeky Sean...

By the time we reached the hospital, my contractions were starting to get really strong but bearable. But things were really quite slow as I'm not dilating quick enough. So the plan of inducing went ahead. You cannot imagine the pain that came on after this procedure was done. The contractions were really powerful and came like waves after waves, upping the pain scale with as every seconds passed...This lasted for about 6 hours or so, and the laughing gas didn't help at all. I can still recall the splitting pain, as if my pelvic is about to break...And I was really discouraged to know that I was only 2 cm dilated with all this pain that I suffered! At first, I thought I can go without epidural, but it looks like that's the way to go. And boy oh boy! How I wish I had opted for epidural right from the beginning, cos things was a breeze after it was given. I can hardly feel any pain and became so relaxed that I was fully dilated within 2 hours. It took me just about 4 pushes altogether and before I know it, Sean's first cries were heard, safely in my arms.

The early days were difficult. Sean couldn't really latch on and we didn't want to bottlefeed him cos I was really concerned that he might reject breastfeeding altogether later. Because of this, Sean lost quite an amount of weight. I felt very guilty seeing him distressed and wailing so hard that I got quite depressed. Eventually, we gave in. But I'm glad that I didn't insist on not bottlefeeding him, because now, with loads of practice, Sean is able to latch on pretty well, so all's not lost. :)

And Steve was such a great support. He was with me with every painful gasp I make in the delivery room, assuring and comforting me all the time. I cannot imagine the amount of distress I would be in without him.

They say having a kid ages you. It does. I'm learning new things from Sean everyday. More significantly, he has taught me how to love selflessly and patiently. Labour pain is certainly unbearable, but if you ask me, I wouldn't mind experiencing it a second time all over again, cos to me, it is the experience of the greatest love of all.

Some lovely photos to share.

And a killer shot to end this post....and I mean really killer....

The Waiting Game

Oh yes, I'm still well and alive.

And STILL PREGNANT.

Baby is apparently still very happy in my big big belly.

But his Daddy and Mummy are getting very anxious already.

Btw, I'm turning 30 this Saturday leh.

How big a turning point in my life that would be.

BIG 3-0!!

Baby boy, would you please make Mummy the best birthday present ever??????

PS: I have port my mobile no. to the same old one @ 96877XXX. You all know which one or not?

Overdue - photos that is!

I got tons of photos to upload, like finally!

I'm counting down to the day when Baby Boy decides to arrive. We went for our checkup last Friday and gynae wasn't too hopeful that he will come soon, cos he's only 1/5 engaged :(, and in her words, "Baby is doing very well and seems very happy still in you!". She then asked me if I used to exercise alot pre-pregnancy, cos apparently, there's a possibility that tight abdominal muscles prevents smooth and complete engagement. But really, I think it's all my fault that Baby's not gone down yet, cos he has a lazy bum mummy who does nothing but eats and sleeps and puts her feet up all the time at home.

I really hope Baby Boy doesn't go overdue. Baby Boy, Daddy has been bringing us out for alot of morning walks recently, so please cooperate with us, cos Daddy and Mummy really can't wait to see you you know...

Anyway, here are photos of me and my glorious tummy over the last 10 months.

the night b4 we found out that i'm pregnant. it was a celebration dinner for my viva. to think i actually ate raw oysters and had alcoholic drinks then. luckily no harm was done to baby.

the test kit that changed our lives forever!

at 3 months.

at 4 months

taken during the ultrascan

from the 4th month then onwards, i started to eat alot more. u can see how i'm putting on weight...

cake and pineapple tarts making fest during cny

at 6 months, carrying my brother's darling zining

at 7 months - still quite vainpot

busy eating our own weight

at pan pacific during the world gourmet festival. this meal was prepared by a couple of 2 michelin starred chefs and costs a bomb, but it turned out to be quite disappointing. conclusion: martin wishart's still our best experience so far.

was already 8 months then

my tummy at 9 months!

and ready to pop anytime!!

Sometimes, I wonder if I would ever be able to regain my pre-pregnancy figure...I actually really miss my non-existent A+/B cup breasts.

I've put on a total of 13 kg now (and counting....) and Baby actually weighs a decent 3.2 kg already. The last month was the worst! I can put on about 1-2kg in a matter of just 2 days! So please....Baby, don't go anymore overdue, else I will have such a difficult time pushing you out!

Actually, I have had the easy course of pregnancy. I mean, I have the luxury of not having to work and stay at home to be a lazy bum. And Steve was ever the good and loving husband and daddy. To be honest, I feel really guilty that he had to shoulder all the responsibilites of being the sole breadwinner, and on top of that, take care of all the household chores. And you know what? The most amazing makeover of the year, courtesy of Steve's sheer sweat and hardwork, had to go to the Baby's room.

from this...

to this!

And all that was achieved within a month! From clearing up the trash from the pre- and post-UK days, to the beautiful transformation of the nursery for our Baby Boy, no expenses was spared. For almost everyday after his work last month, Steve charged upon himself with the preparation of the nursery, and all I can do is make him tea and coffee.

I think this is what they call love. And I can feel it so much of it from him these months. So much so that on some early mornings when I couldn't go back to sleep, I would glance at Steve and tears would just flow, cos I couldn't help but think what if something were to happen and Steve were to leave me forever? I don't think I would be strong enough to survive without him...I kept telling myself, the best thing I can do from now is to be a good wife and Mummy to my two darling boys and to take very good care of them.

Oh! And we received a very special gift for our Baby from Steve's brother and his wifey. They are lovely, and we kept telling Baby Boy that he's going to be a very loved Baby. Thanks so much!

All the way from Melbourne! The printed words on the shirt reads "Spit Happens". Hilarious!

And some cute rompers we bought for Baby Boy. It's going to be fun dressing him up! Mummy can't wait to get more!!

And my article was finally published!

The baby ticker reads just 6 more days to go...Baby Boy, come out soon k, we're all ready for your arrival. Daddy and Mummy can't wait to sayang you all over.....