Sean....

Dear Sean,

I just want to say, sorry...

I screamed at you so badly yesterday. In fact, I've been screaming so much at you for the past few days.

And everytime after I do that, Mummy would cry so hard in regret..

You know son? Mummy is trying her best.

Every morning she wakes up, she mops the floor hurridly so that it would dry up in time for ur playtime after ur milk.

Then she feeds u ur milk.

But recently, your stomach has been acting up.

Mummy has to change ur diaper and wash ur bottom at least 6 times a day for the past few days.

It was so bad one day that the moment I put on a clean diaper for u, u'd poo again.

It got so bad that u soon developed diaper rash and u'd scream in pain so much everytime we change and wash u.

I don't know where all that poo is coming from, cos u've only been having half a slice, if not at most 1 slice of bread everyday since 2 weeks ago when u started rejecting porridge and cereal (or rice, or noodles etc etc...).

Now u poo everytime u take in something, be it biscuits or milk.

Mummy and Daddy brought u to see the doctor and u were diagnosed with catching a virus.

And u've lost so much weight....

Ur chin is sharper, and gone are ur chubby cheeks...

A few aunties that knew us from our morning walks downstairs has commented that u've become so skinny.

And it hurts me so much to hear that, and to indeed see u like this...

Thus, feeding you has been so stressful for your Mummy.

Cos I am really anxious to have u eat at least something.

My darling Sean, how are u going to grow up well if u're not going to eat other than a few biscuits, a few bites of bread and yoghurt in a day?

U simply refuse anything else.

I've tried so many things. Boiled, fried, steamed, baked.

Cut up, sliced, mashed, whole.

Bland, sweet, savoury.

Even letting u feed urself.

But u just won' eat.

I know it could be due to ur teething, after all u've been drooling so much...

But ur teething seems to take forever. Mummy can't feel any stubs cutting through ur gums...

Maybe u're traumatised. Cos everytime u refuse to eat, Mummy or Daddy will scream at u.

Baby, I'm so so sorry. Mummy doesn't want to lose my temper at you. Really. Mummy is trying very hard to control herself. But so often, Mummy is so worried that she snapped eventually.

Sean sean, please understand that Mummy is struggling alone most of the time, and she really is trying very hard to be stronger.

Please Sean....please please start to eat normally again soon. Please try ur best.