U can only be as happy as u want to be

I've been having alot of flashback memories of my childhood lately.

And I've been tearing quite alot.

We are all part of history in the making isn't it?

Things that have happened in the past, the laughter and the tears, the things that we've shared with our siblings and loved ones...they're all but history now.

Although we are still making history now, but...it's different already, right?

Cos we're all grown up and drifted apart...

You have ur own life and I have mine.

I feel sorry and guilty for not being more around for my sis.

I ought to do more for her. To spend more time with her.

To let her know and understand that, she's loved by us all.

Ultimately, I've allowed some things to slid out of hand.

After all, I have only a pair of hands, so how much can I hold onto?

I wish I can do more to help her.

It's a living nightmare having to live in ur own world and go around in circles with the same thoughts over and over again. I know it's hard for her. And that's when I'll cry. Cos who can stand such madness? I guess deep down, she doesn't want to be this situation too, to be trapped in ur own mind and not able to look out and breathe.

They say happiness is a choice. But if one is not capable of making such a choice, then what?

I wish she can be happier.

Sis, I love u ok. U must bear that in mind, please.